Support in the Little Things

Part of being married is supporting your husband’s decisions. While I personally don’t find it difficult to support my husband on the big things, I struggle when it comes to the little things. The incident I’m about to share is so trivial to the point that I didn’t even bring this up with my husband until now! Surprise, honey! ๐Ÿ™‚ Haha!

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My husband and I are both work-from-home writers and we love what we do. Omar writes about superheroes and basketball. He’s very fortunate that he gets to write about the things he loves. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sometime last month, I noticed that he was spending so much time writing about this article on the best Spider-Man costumes of all time.

There are ways to get articles done quickly. Most writers know that. I was surprised that he was spending hours on this one piece! He was getting paid per article. In my mind, I was computing that if he wrote 3 or 4 articles in that span of time that would’ve been more profitable, right?

At one point I even commented, “Hon, parang ang tagal mo ata sa article na yan.” (Hon, it seems like you’re spending a lot of time on that article.) I just couldn’t help it! Omar said that it was taking some time because he needed to research more and he was analyzing the best of the best.

I was tempted to suggest that he should stop doing it. My husband was creating an original article and not a curated one. When I say curated it’s more of a rewrite with a little bit of your opinion. Original articles take more time and effort obviously but he couldn’t ask for a higher rate for that.

I had the choice to either make a big deal out of it or just let him finish. I couldn’t remember exactly what I needed him to do but I needed his help that time either with our son or something else. But whatever it was, I knew it could wait. I could’ve insisted though that he drop what he was doing and attend to me. I had no doubt that he would but it would mean interrupting his momentum.

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I was overly concerned with him wasting time for an article that brought him minimal returns. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me shut up, literally. I asked Him to calm my heart and trust my husband that he knew what he was doing. Then God opened my eyes to something.

I saw that despite the challenge of writing that piece there was JOY in my husband’s eyes. I saw PASSION in what he was doing. His focus was different. He was really enjoying what he was writing! I may not understand why but I knew I should support him even for just a few hours (around 4-5 hours to be exact).

God assured me that letting my husband be was the best form of support I could give. That meant allowing him finish the article without disturbance, letting that concern wait, and leaving the results to Him (in terms of provisions). I couldn’t shake the feeling of dismay that Omar would’ve earned more by writing more articles in the span of time he supposedly “wasted” for that Spidey article.

When he posted the blog and shared it on social media, it generated more than 157,000 in reach and over 18,000 in post clicks (the actual number of people who actually clicked on the Facebook link and read the article)! The engagement in their Facebook page was unbelievable, too! His employer was so pleased with him! That blog has become one of their top performing articles to date.

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Best of all, my husband created a perennial article that could be reposted or refurbished anytime regardless of the trend. It’s a classic, so to speak. Fanboys of their site loved the article. It doesn’t matter if a fidgety wife didn’t get it. What mattered was, their target market were hooked on it. ๐Ÿ™‚

And I couldn’t be prouder. ๐Ÿ™‚ When I actually read it and saw his picks for the article, I was impressed! I became appreciative of the art and the stories that went along the creation of each Spider-Man costume. I saw how thrilled my husband was when he realized how quickly the fans were consuming his content. He saw the reach increase by the thousands in a matter of minutes!

I got excited about it, too! I planned to blog about this sooner but I got busy with other things and then this morning in my devotions about marriage I was reminded to be your husband’s biggest fan. I was brought back to that time when that article was published and realized that I had the chance to be in the front row seats, cheering for him when we were seeing the engagement that his article generated. ๐Ÿ™‚

His success eventually led to his employer becoming confident again to invest in Facebook ads for his articles so they can get more traffic on the site. More traffic means more earnings for his employer and more stability for him and ultimately, for our family. In a volatile, fast-paced world of the web ENGAGEMENT is everything. Writing compelling articles that get people talking can give unprecedented traction for a website and that’s exactly what his article did. ๐Ÿ™‚

He wouldn’t have achieved it if I gave in to my worries and asked him to stop doing it and go with something easier. I never thought that supporting him in that small thing and simply letting him be could result in something great. It took a lot of restraint on my part not to comment further when he was so engrossed in his writing.

It was only GOD’S GRACE that helped me that time. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says,”Donโ€™t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

Support through gentleness and being quiet was what my husband needed from me at that time. I’m extremely thankful that God gave me the grace to do so. He reminded me to trust in Him and trust the leader (my husband) He has given me. ๐Ÿ™‚ If I didn’t allow the Lord to reign me in and hold my tongue, I would’ve missed out on that moment when my husband got the recognition he deserved from his employer and the people who make their business thrive. That seemingly small support I gave him, allowed me to witness one of the highlights in my Omar’s writing career. ๐Ÿ™‚

More often than not, our husbands require us to support them on the trivial things. Those small increments of support when accumulated over time builds our husband’s confidence. It makes them bolder to take on risks and face challenges knowing that they have their wife by their side. My husband isn’t perfect and he makes mistakes but he knows that I, his biggest fan, will always cheer for him regardless. It’s not easy when you need to do it at that particular moment but when you’re looking at it in hindsight, God will make you realize that it’s worth it. ๐Ÿ™‚

I know that I still fail and struggle in this area, hon. But I want you to know that I will always be your cheerleader. No amount of arthritis and gray hair will stop me from cheering for you. ๐Ÿ™‚ I love you! ๐Ÿ™‚

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An Open Letter to My Ex-boyfriend

Dear Ex-Boyfie,

It’s been six years since I said YES to you. Not long after that, I said YES again to your marriage proposal and six months later I gave you my final YES during our wedding. ๐Ÿ™‚

I know we’ve been so busy the past few months but I couldn’t pass up the chance of greeting you Happy Anniversary today! Boyfriend-girlfriend anniversary, that is. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it’s important that we celebrate this day because it’s the first commitment we made to each other. It’s the door that led us to where we are now. ๐Ÿ™‚

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Let me just say that you’re the best ex-boyfriend ever! Haha! Because you did it right! You were forthcoming in your intentions, you didn’t leave, and you took the next step. You’re the right kind of ex who knew from day one that you want to be a part of past, present, and future. And for that I want to say THANK YOU. ๐Ÿ™‚

I truly praise and thank God for you. Every day I see Christ’s love manifested in the way you take care of me and Timmy. Your daily sacrifices don’t go unnoticed, hon. ๐Ÿ™‚ We appreciate it a lot. You walk your talk. And I couldn’t ask for a better role model for our son than you. ๐Ÿ™‚

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You help me with chores, you proofread my work (haha!), you teach Timmy about God (basketball and superheroes, too!), you massage my aching joints and muscles (you thought you married someone young but no! Haha!), you partner with me in disciplining and homeschooling our son, you rebuke me with love (correcting me gently), you allow me to see things objectively and not emotionally, you encourage me to go shopping (sometimes you even force me!), you come up with the silliest songs (and dance moves!), you keep my health in check, and you never fail to make me laugh each day. ๐Ÿ™‚

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I’m not saying you’re perfect. But you’re an 8/10. I left two small increments for improvement in our remaining lifetime together. ๐Ÿ™‚ Seriously, if this is what an 8-husband rate looks like, I wouldn’t mind that you remain this way forever! Haha! ๐Ÿ™‚

Happy 6th anniversary, my ex-boyfie-now-husband HONEY! ๐Ÿ™‚ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I don’t have to read your comic books and graphic novels to know that superheroes exist. I already have one in you and that’s the only proof I need. ๐Ÿ™‚

Much love,

Your ex-girlfriend ๐Ÿ™‚

 

I married a super hero, not a prince charming

Growing up, I totally skipped Barbie, Disney Princess, and other girly fairy tales. I was just not interested in them. I remember that my most loved tales were The Little Red Riding Hood, The Gingerbread Man, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Hansel and Gretel, Jack and the Beanstalk, and The Three Little Pigs. Haha! I found Snow White and company cute but not as interesting as the stories I mentioned earlier. I jumped into the happily ever after and prince charming bandwagon when I was in Grade 5 or 6. Still, I didnโ€™t find the idea of having a prince charming so charming. I didnโ€™t wear a tiara when I was young except for one school parade when I had no choice.

Hero in waiting :)

Hero in waiting ๐Ÿ™‚

Judging from the tales I liked back then, I realized that if Iโ€™d be in a fairy tale I would probably end up being an adventurous yet accident-prone female character who still needs saving. I would definitely not be a damsel in distress nor would I want a pretty prince charming coming to my rescue with his pearly white teeth. My fairy tale would probably involve an unconventional super hero who will sweep me off my feet with his otherworldly abilities. Lo and behold, I was given one. ๐Ÿ™‚

The fanboy and the girlfriend :)

The fanboy ๐Ÿ™‚

When I first met Omar, I knew that he was more than just a pretty face. Yes, he was and still is prince charming-esque but it was his character that made him more attractive. He was the authentic Mr. Nice Guy with the word KIND tattooed on his forehead. Everybody knew that Omar was dependable and responsible. He was very much like โ€œSupermanโ€ in that sense. ๐Ÿ™‚

With my Man of Steel :)

With my Man of Steel ๐Ÿ™‚

He also treated everyone equally so it was very hard to determine if he liked you or not. I guess he knew that about himself so when he took me out on our first date he immediately told me his intentions! He dropped the words commitment, marriage, and love that caught me off guard in a blissful kind of way. ๐Ÿ™‚ That bold move made all the difference because he unknowingly addressed my fear of being misled. I knew that it took a lot of courage for him to say that. He took the risk of โ€œgoing too fastโ€ with confidence and determination, fully aware that he could stand by what he said.

We're engaged! :)

We’re engaged! ๐Ÿ™‚

To cut the short story even shorter, we became a couple two months after that first date, got engaged four months after, and eventually tied the knot seven months later. ๐Ÿ™‚ He is pretty much identical to โ€œFlashโ€ in terms of the way he led and steered our relationship to marriage. ๐Ÿ™‚

Mr. and Mrs. Guerrero! :)

Mr. and Mrs. Guerrero! ๐Ÿ™‚

We also became parents early with our honeymoon baby, Timmy! ๐Ÿ™‚ As a husband and father-to-be, Omar balanced his leadership and nurturing role to his preggy wifey. I had a complicated pregnancy and Omar never left my side through it all. When Timmy was born, he took the role of fatherhood with fun and focus. ๐Ÿ™‚ I adore seeing him play with our baby, change Timmyโ€™s nappies, and accomplish other daddy duties. He made career and ministry decisions that showed how he is prioritizing us more than anything. For me, he was and still is like a married version of โ€œCaptain America,โ€ a great leader, planner, and undeniably selfless.

My superhero boys!

My superhero boys!

Our marriage is not perfect.ย  We have miscommunication issues every now and then. Voice tone misinterpretations also come up once in a while. Overall, I can say that we live by the 80/20 principle. Itโ€™s all good 80% of the time. The other 20% comprise the minor arguments, long talks over unresolved issues, and gentle rebukes that help us both become better spouses to each other.

I am so grateful that our marriage is boring (in a good way). ๐Ÿ™‚ It is drama-free with no roller coaster mood swings and stress-free with no unreasonable demands. It is a great blessing to be married with Omar who is also peace-loving like me. God knew I could not bear the stress of being with someone who thrives on arguments. Haha!

Valentine's Day date :)

Valentine’s Day date ๐Ÿ™‚

Today we celebrate our 1,095 days of being married. ๐Ÿ™‚ Three years may seem like a short time but the trials weโ€™ve been through made it look like we have a thirty-year-old marriage. Haha! My recent health bout with Ischemia made this anniversary even more precious. God made us more appreciative with every waking day we share together. Seeing how my husband took care of me and Timmy while doing most of the chores at home while I was sick is like seeing Godโ€™s love in action. This is what a super hero husband isโ€”someone who knows what to do at the most crucial time, keeps his calm in the midst of a raging storm, depends on Someone greater than he is, and gives his everything without questioning so much what is left of him.

Honey with his superhero cake :)

Honey with his superhero cake for his 40th birthday ๐Ÿ™‚

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY SUPER OMAR! Human language is not enough to express my appreciation and love for you! You are Godโ€™s sweetest blessing to me! I am humbled and privileged to be your wife. My heart is full of thanksgiving to our great God who gives us nothing but the BEST. You are my BEST FRIEND and the no question, hands down the BEST HUSBAND in the world. ๐Ÿ™‚ I look forward to more years with you, inclusive of a lifetime buffet of laughter, long walks, movie and series marathons, NBA finals, reading and praying together, family bonding, homeschooling and parenting, lazy afternoons, shopping and window shopping, casual conversations, irrational jokes, sweet surprises, and overdose of hugs and kissesโ€”till weโ€™re both wrinkly and gray. ๐Ÿ™‚ I love you, my super hero husband! Happy Anniversary!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I LOVE YOU!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I LOVE YOU!

Thrilled to be Thirty!

I guess Iโ€™m the only person thrilled to be thirty. ๐Ÿ™‚ Most women dread this age because it means having your age slowly deleted in the Roman calendar and your biological clock setting off annoying alarms. In fact, by the time one reaches 29 youโ€™re already disqualified from the February race! Haha! But thereโ€™s so much more to being thirty than aging. Itโ€™s a new season of life that opens countless opportunities if you plunge into it completely. ๐Ÿ™‚

I remember counting the days to my third-decade milestone. Only by Godโ€™s grace can I say that my 30 years was filled with the best things this life can offer. I indulged in the playfulness of being a child, savoured every crazy moment of being a teen, revelled in the freedom of being in my twenties, and now Iโ€™m embracing this new season of being in my thirties. Iโ€™m 30 and I love it!

In my 30 years of existence, 17 years of which revolved around my relationship with my Savior Jesus Christโ€”our journey together has been exciting, unpredictable but fun, and literally life-changing. He has been the best Lover of my soul. I have to admit, Iโ€™m not the most faithful lover to Him. My heart has been distracted so many times by things, people, and futile activities. I knew there were times when I made Him cry. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But He still forgives me nonetheless whenever I apologize. (Hey, it rhymes! Haha!) My Jesus loves me for who I am not for what I do. He won me out of love and not out of fear. He created me and knit me in my motherโ€™s womb. He took care of my every need most specially my need to be reconciled with Him. He gave me His life, I believed and trusted in His sacrifice on that old rugged cross, and my life has never been the same after that. I have learned that good people donโ€™t go to heaven, FORGIVEN people do. Iโ€™m one of those forgiven people, experiencing my Saviorโ€™s love, mercy, and grace every single day of my life.

In those 30 years, 13 years of which have been with my wolf (Lupus is the Latin word for wolf). There were several periods of remission and relapses but each and every time it happens my faithful Savior extends His healing hand upon me. Adjusting my lifestyle, getting my laboratory tests done regularly, going to check-ups, and experiencing odd body changes like getting bloated and hairy are all part of living with my wolf. But itโ€™s not all that bad. Having the wolf is like having a thorn in the flesh. It makes me completely dependent on my God. It made me and my family closer and stronger as we weather each attack together. It also made me appreciate aging all the more because not everyone gets to spend another day more so another year. As years passed, our co-existence has been mutually beneficial. As I try to tame the wolf, the wolf tames me, too. It made me aim for a healthy lifestyle not only for me but also for my loved ones.

In those 30 years, Iโ€™ve met the greatest friends, worked with the best people, and treasured valuable moments with my family. My parents who have been with me over the past three decades have been nothing but sacrificial and selfless. Theyโ€™re a crazy bunch, too! A year ago, I got married to the best and most loving husband that God ever created. ๐Ÿ™‚ Of course, Iโ€™m biased but thatโ€™s how I view him. In fact, I think my description is an understatement. ๐Ÿ™‚ Weโ€™ve been together as a couple for two years now and married for more than a year. Every single day I spend with him is a sweet blessing. To cap off my terrific thirty, my baby Timothy was born 9 months ago. You see, I never thought Iโ€™d be able to have a child. God in His infinite goodness and grace allowed me to get pregnant sooner than we expected (Timmy is a honeymoon baby!) and He tamed the wolf during my entire pregnancy. Our baby may have been born prematurely but he is a testament to the greatness of God. He is just as normal as other babies now and he brings us so much joy every day.

So, for whatever my 30-ish year has in store for me, all I can say is, โ€œBRING IT ON!โ€ ๐Ÿ™‚